Knowing the Right Things to Do as a Parent, and Doing Them Are Two Different Things

I had a follow up with the dermatologist yesterday (for the first visit, see the humorous post, The "Pre-Perfect" Parent! ") Just wondering why I am 46 and still wrestling with acne. Me and the pimple pop doc are still trying to slay the blemish beast. Hence my return.

It is rosacea.

The doctor went though a list of things I need to do to tame the beast, if not vanquish it:

* Get adequate rest (Impossible--I'm a blogger with a full-time real job.)

* Avoid spicy foods (I am a devout chili head--with an extensive hot sauce collection)

* Avoid caffeine (I'm a sucker for the White Chocolate Mocha Latte at Starbucks--the Venti-size--the BIG boy half-gallon drink)

* Avoid stress (I have a teenage daughter who is very interesting to boys...impossible)
Blah, blah, blah...

He said several other things , but I was trying to visualize life without these things and seeing only a long, dark, unhappy tunnel. (Well, except for a life with no knucklehead teenage boys chasing my daughter...that made me happy...)

He said, "Why don't you ever listen to me?" or something like that. I forget. I wasn't paying attention.

The mystery was solved. I had all the information I needed. I heard at least some portion of the treatment. I was already deciding to live with rosacea rather than give up some things I like to do.

I'm not alone.

"In 1964 the Surgeon General of the U.S. (the chief doctor for the country) wrote a report about the dangers of cigarette smoking. He said that the nicotine and tar in cigarettes cause lung cancer. In 1965 the Congress of the U.S. passed the Cigarette Labelling and Advertising Act. It said that every cigarette pack must have a warning label on its side stating "Cigarettes may be hazardous to your health."(source: From the First to the Last Ash: The History, Economics & Hazards of Tobacco )

Even with the labels on the packs of "cancer sticks," billions and billions of cigarettes are sold in the U.S. each year to committed smokers who KNOW it can kill them. Why?

It is not enough the KNOW the right things to do. We must DO the right things we know to do. ACTIONS turn knowledge into LIFE CHANGE. Knowledge with action is key to not only kicking bad habits but key to success in life.

I know what I need to do to clear up my skin. The smoker knows what he or she needs to do to live a longer, healthier life. Now the question is, do we have the self-control and the moral will (or "guts") to do what we know is right?

How does any of this apply to parenting? Glad you asked. Simply this: Much of the time you KNOW what you need to do as a parent. You just DON'T do it. (Me too.) You want to revolutionize your relationship with your child or teen? DO the right things you KNOW to do.

Only by taking action on the right you know to do will you unleash the power to bring life-changing/ relationship-renovating change to you and/or your child. (See the great comment below from MeMe on the ludicrous "Do as I say, not as I do" speech. That speech doesn't cut it and it doesn't get us off the hook--in fact, it says "I've given up" and "I have no guts." Actually now there even more good comments. Check 'em all out.)

It is not enough to KNOW the right things to do as a parent. We must DO the right things we know to do. ACTIONS turn knowledge into a powerful force for LIFE CHANGE. Knowledge joined with action is the key to becoming an effective and successful parent.

RIGHT INFORMATION + RIGHT ACTION= LIFE CHANGE

Want to see a revolution in your parenting and in your family? Have the GUTS to do the parenting things you know to do but have put off, or simply not done. Do them now. You only have control over today. There is no tomorrow promised to any of us.

Think of YOUR behavior in the context of your child's life. Ask yourself, "What do I want them NOT to do?" Stop doing it yourself.

Then ask yourself, "What do I do that I MOST want my child to do?" Make sure they see you doing those right things FREQUENTLY (and involve them--they only learn by DOING too). Be the model your kids deserve. One they CAN want to be just like, one they can follow by doing what they do.

In COMMENTS below, share some the right things....the HARD things you've had to do as a parent, that paid off BIG time in your relationship with your child/ children. Or just tell readers what you think!

See related posts:
The "Pre-Perfect" Parent
I Talked to My Daughter Last Night: A Father's Joy

See these other Parentconsensus blogs:
A blog of parenting at its worst (cautionary tales): Families in the News
A blog on parenting and families at their best: Families That Inspire
A blog celebrating the joy of Christmas all year round: Christmastime Memories