This blog has moved! New URL is http://www.thingsgoodparentsdo.com

Dear Friends:

This blog Things Good Parents Do, has been moved to Wordpress and is under a new URL: http://www.thingsgoodparentsdo.com

For those in my blogroll...please update to the new domain as soon as you can. When you have done so, please email me at: pccontactus@konsensusllc.com and I will add you to my blogroll at the new domain.

For those following me, or subscribing to the blog through Feedburner, you will need to resubscribe. I will add another post with details on that soon.

Sorry for the inconvenience! Thank you for continuing to read and support Things Good Parents Do!

Cheers!

Jim

Free Sample Movie Clip Discussion for Parents (Freedom Writers: A Toast to Change!)

When I posted this, I didn't think of President Barack Obama's theme of change or the tremendous change brought about by the work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. How fitting that this post be released (and hopefully read and used) this week!

Enjoy this FREE sample movie clip discussion for your family from my latest book for parents: 101 Movie Clips That Get Families Talking :

CHANGE

(A Toast..."the Past is Past")

Movie: Freedom Writers
Studio: Paramount, 2007
Rating: PG-13

TIP: If you decide to do the toast as a family, have some sparkly cider on hand! This movie is based on the very moving book, The Freedom Writer's Diary (Main Street Books, 1999). Also, bad language alert in this clip.

CLIP CUE FOR DVD
Chapter: 10
Clip start: 1 hour, 9 minutes, 55 seconds
Clip end: 1 hour, 15 minutes, 1 second
Clip duration: 5 minutes, 6 seconds

SET UP FOR THE CLIP: In this real-life story, Erin Gruwell, a naive, overly-optimistic first year teacher is assigned to an unruly class full of kids in a racially divided southern California high school. She flounders for a way to connect with her students. A breakthrough begins when Erin assigns her students to keep a journal of their lives.

In this clip, Erin challenges her students to make a toast for change. A "from this moment on, things are going to be different" kind of thing. One young man in particular shares a moving account of what the class has meant to him.

After viewing the clip, discuss these questions:

• Think about the young man who shared his journal entry about being evicted and feeling so bad when he showed up for school. He said the classroom was like home to him and that Mrs. Gruwell was the only one to make him think of hope. Where do YOU feel most at home? Who are the people around you who make you feel special? Who give you hope?
• What one thing from your past do you most need to move beyond? What do we need to break free from in our family's past?
• What more can we do to make one another feel special?
• What hopes do you have for our family and our future?

To start the year, the teacher holds a "toast for change" with her students. (If you decided to do a family toast, distribute the cider now.) Let's take a moment for a bit of silence and think about what the teacher just said. When you are ready, share your "toast for change."

I trust you enjoyed this movie clip discussion! If you would like to purchase this book, it is available through Amazon. Simply click here to be whisked away to Amazon to find out more about the book or to purchase: 101 Movie Clips That Get Families Talking

To find out more information about the DVD, Freedom Writers, click here: Freedom Writers (Widescreen Edition)

In COMMENTS below, let me know what you think about the discussion and the changes to which your family has committed?

See the related posts:
#1 Secret of the Parenting Universe Revealed
Knowing the Right Things to Do as a Parent and Doing Them Are Two Different Things

See these other Parentconsensus blogs:
A blog of parenting at its worst (cautionary tales): Families in the News
A blog on parenting and families at their best: Families That Inspire
A blog celebrating the joy of Christmas all year round: Christmastime Memories

Knowing the Right Things to Do as a Parent, and Doing Them Are Two Different Things

I had a follow up with the dermatologist yesterday (for the first visit, see the humorous post, The "Pre-Perfect" Parent! ") Just wondering why I am 46 and still wrestling with acne. Me and the pimple pop doc are still trying to slay the blemish beast. Hence my return.

It is rosacea.

The doctor went though a list of things I need to do to tame the beast, if not vanquish it:

* Get adequate rest (Impossible--I'm a blogger with a full-time real job.)

* Avoid spicy foods (I am a devout chili head--with an extensive hot sauce collection)

* Avoid caffeine (I'm a sucker for the White Chocolate Mocha Latte at Starbucks--the Venti-size--the BIG boy half-gallon drink)

* Avoid stress (I have a teenage daughter who is very interesting to boys...impossible)
Blah, blah, blah...

He said several other things , but I was trying to visualize life without these things and seeing only a long, dark, unhappy tunnel. (Well, except for a life with no knucklehead teenage boys chasing my daughter...that made me happy...)

He said, "Why don't you ever listen to me?" or something like that. I forget. I wasn't paying attention.

The mystery was solved. I had all the information I needed. I heard at least some portion of the treatment. I was already deciding to live with rosacea rather than give up some things I like to do.

I'm not alone.

"In 1964 the Surgeon General of the U.S. (the chief doctor for the country) wrote a report about the dangers of cigarette smoking. He said that the nicotine and tar in cigarettes cause lung cancer. In 1965 the Congress of the U.S. passed the Cigarette Labelling and Advertising Act. It said that every cigarette pack must have a warning label on its side stating "Cigarettes may be hazardous to your health."(source: From the First to the Last Ash: The History, Economics & Hazards of Tobacco )

Even with the labels on the packs of "cancer sticks," billions and billions of cigarettes are sold in the U.S. each year to committed smokers who KNOW it can kill them. Why?

It is not enough the KNOW the right things to do. We must DO the right things we know to do. ACTIONS turn knowledge into LIFE CHANGE. Knowledge with action is key to not only kicking bad habits but key to success in life.

I know what I need to do to clear up my skin. The smoker knows what he or she needs to do to live a longer, healthier life. Now the question is, do we have the self-control and the moral will (or "guts") to do what we know is right?

How does any of this apply to parenting? Glad you asked. Simply this: Much of the time you KNOW what you need to do as a parent. You just DON'T do it. (Me too.) You want to revolutionize your relationship with your child or teen? DO the right things you KNOW to do.

Only by taking action on the right you know to do will you unleash the power to bring life-changing/ relationship-renovating change to you and/or your child. (See the great comment below from MeMe on the ludicrous "Do as I say, not as I do" speech. That speech doesn't cut it and it doesn't get us off the hook--in fact, it says "I've given up" and "I have no guts." Actually now there even more good comments. Check 'em all out.)

It is not enough to KNOW the right things to do as a parent. We must DO the right things we know to do. ACTIONS turn knowledge into a powerful force for LIFE CHANGE. Knowledge joined with action is the key to becoming an effective and successful parent.

RIGHT INFORMATION + RIGHT ACTION= LIFE CHANGE

Want to see a revolution in your parenting and in your family? Have the GUTS to do the parenting things you know to do but have put off, or simply not done. Do them now. You only have control over today. There is no tomorrow promised to any of us.

Think of YOUR behavior in the context of your child's life. Ask yourself, "What do I want them NOT to do?" Stop doing it yourself.

Then ask yourself, "What do I do that I MOST want my child to do?" Make sure they see you doing those right things FREQUENTLY (and involve them--they only learn by DOING too). Be the model your kids deserve. One they CAN want to be just like, one they can follow by doing what they do.

In COMMENTS below, share some the right things....the HARD things you've had to do as a parent, that paid off BIG time in your relationship with your child/ children. Or just tell readers what you think!

See related posts:
The "Pre-Perfect" Parent
I Talked to My Daughter Last Night: A Father's Joy

See these other Parentconsensus blogs:
A blog of parenting at its worst (cautionary tales): Families in the News
A blog on parenting and families at their best: Families That Inspire
A blog celebrating the joy of Christmas all year round: Christmastime Memories

Things Good Parents Do: Reader Favorites of 2008 (part 1)

(The Kochenburger fam relaxing at home in 2008...)

Things Good Parents Do, is a tongue-in-cheek (sometimes downright cheeky!) blog that added a little rascally wit and "wisdom" (HA!) into the parenting scene. I have enjoyed writing Things Good Parents Do, and our readership has grown--wildly of late! Though there are MANY outstanding parenting, dad, and mommy blogs out there, parents (and MANY non-parents) seem to have made a place in their hearts for Things Good Parents Do, which has been a surprise and a lot of fun for me!

To you, my readers, I say THANK YOU! You energize me to keep doing this--well until the money and fame start rolling in...(oops, did I write that out loud?) Seriously, THANK YOU for liking it and for letting me know. That's the reward for me.

Here we go:

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(1)--Gag-Proof Your Parenting Attitude! (Get the Funk Out Your Home!)
Finally, the Smithsonian cleaning crew showed up, sprinkled the pixie dust on the puke ocean (and pond) and the Smithsonian was saved from the vomit threat. And we, we who endured the horror together became very close, like a family. A family of vomit funk survivors. Believe it or not, there is a tie in here with parenting--besides the importance of having a strong gag reflex. (Somebody holla' poopy diaper!!!) And I wanted a RIVETING attention-getter to make this point unforgettable. It's all about attitude ma and/or pa. Read more!

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(2)--#1 Secret of the Parenting Universe Revealed (Hint: Media, Teen Sex, THE Talk)
"A strong association between sexual content on television and teen pregnancy is not surprising, said Dr. Yolanda Wimberly, an assistant professor of clinical pediatrics at the Morehouse School of Medicine and the medical director for the Center for Excellence in Sexual Health." Well, I'm the medical director for Common Sense and I am sayin'--Ya think???Read more!

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(3)--Ugly Son? It's Dad's Fault, Study Shows...
In America, one of our most important tasks, as good parents, is to produce beautiful children. The reason for this is two-fold, 1) it makes our friends jealous, and, 2) it allows us the ability to put a spotlight on our own attractive features by pointing them out in our children.
It works like this:
Jessica's Mom to friend:: "Jessica's eyes are so pretty in this portrait."
Desired response delivered from same friend: "She's beautiful, she has your eyes."
Jessica's Mom to friend: "Oh, you're so sweet for saying that." (Thinks: Yes, she is beautiful. Yes, she gets it from me.)Read more!

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(4)--Top 10 Things Parents Should Let Their Children Do at Restaurants!
I am begging all parents to PLEASE let your child do the following things at restaurants:

#10) Encourage children to whirl and dance in youthful glee around the tables. Note the look of enjoyment and smiles of appreciation on all the people around you...Read more!

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(5)--Good Parents Raise Only Gifted Children! (The Story of Little "Drunk")
Good parents must have gifted children. As everyone knows, children of good parents are to be little "mini-me's" of their brilliant, multi-talented, wildly successful mom and dad. Nothing validates good parents like a gifted child...Read more!

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(6)--Good Parents Insure a Germ-Free Home and WORLD for Their Children...or Die Trying! (Part 1)
Good parents ensure a germ-free home (and WORLD). They are "germaphobes" and proud of it. For the good parent, a child with a cold, runny nose or fever means just one thing, failure. Well, failure and shame!

You'll recognize these good parents easily--throwing themselves between the sneezer and their child (the sneezee)...Read more!

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(7)--Ain't Nothin' But a Twin Thang! (Sibling Rivalry x10...and what to do about it)
I have an identical twin. His name is Phil. Mine is James ("Jimmy" way back when, Jim now). So there was no cutesy name stuff happening, thank God. No Jimmy and Timmy, Billy Bobby and Bobby Robby, or Skeeter and Peter. One small grace in an otherwise graceless situation.

Many people would say to us "being a twin must be awesome!" We would just look at the person in amazement, and say (probably in unison), "Now you are just talking like a crazy person!"...Read more!

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(8)--Parents: The Ticking Crocodile Chases Each of Us
I loved it...a dad and daughter, sharing a lunch out together. I am a sucker for that stuff--seeing dad's "into" their kids. So I paid attention. I thought I just might have a warm observation/ entry for this blog.

Sadly, I was wrong. Though this dad had the right idea about being "there" with his daughter--sadly, he never showed up. Predictably, he was wearing his bluetooth earpiece. Since he hadn't arrived in a helicopter, and there was no briefcase handcuffed to his wrist, my guess was, he didn't have his finger on the nuclear button--so no real need to keep that earpiece in...Read more!

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(9)--Good Parents Insure a Germ-Free Home and WORLD for Their Children...or Die Trying! (Part 2)
Want to mess with a germaphobe "good parent's" mind? Here are a few ideas:

1) Remind them the kitchen--not the bathroom--is the nastiest room in the home. Mention that video you saw one time where they used a bacteria-detecting lamp to show all the bacteria in some ladies kitchen. She SEEMED to keep a clean kitchen--she was wrong. The lamp showed bacteria all over her counters, the fridge, the sink and...all over her son! (Better yet, tell them this at your house so they will clean your kitchen for you. They must do this--they are too good not to!)...Read more!

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(10)--Good Parents Make Their Kids "Face The Fear"!
Peyton Pinkerton, 37, has been known to run out of malls, fairgrounds, and other places "on repeated occasions," to flee the object of his personal phobia: clowns (Coulrophobia). Why, you ask?
"I was yelled at by a birthday party clown when I was about 4 years old and have been absolutely terrified of them ever since. If I'm surprised by seeing a clown, it's like snakes or rats. My fight-or-flight response kicks in," Pinkerton says. (Source: CNN article below.)...Read more!

See Jim's book: 101 Movie Clips That Get Families Talking



See these other Parentconsensus blogs:
A blog of parenting at its worst (cautionary tales): Families in the News
A blog on parenting and families at their best: Families That Inspire
A blog celebrating the joy of Christmas all year round: Christmastime Memories

Things Good Parents Do: Reader Favorites of 2008 (part 2)

(Jim's fam in front of a door in Rome.)

Here are a few more fun posts I think you'll enjoy if you're new to Things Good Parents Do...(new material coming this weekend :)

Fun on Flight 1703 (The Zippy and Lippy Show or Dad Gone Wild!)

Christmastime 2007, my family and I traveled to New York City, (a favorite destination of ours--especially around Christmas). The trip was amazing--Central Park, The Grinch and A Color Purple on Broadway (go Fantasia!), pizza at Famous Ray's (on 42nd St.), M&M's superstore, breakfast in a diner with singing serving staff, and a number of memorably aromatic cab rides:) A good time was had by all. And now we were flying home to the land of Mickey Mouse--with a plane packed full of giddy would-be mouseketeers. Read more!

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"A Dog + a Little Girl + An Automatic Car Window = Family Nightmare" Or "What You Gonna Do When Life Poops on You?"
It was an ordinary day. We had no reason to think it would spiral into a nightmare for my 8-year-old daughter, Kristin--and for our chronically shabby, ungroomed schnauzer named Frosty (Frosty's a she by the way).

The family was packed into the Blazer, making a rare trip to Frosty's groomer. Read more!

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The "Pre-Perfect" Parent
I am 46 and I still battling my middle school nemesis--acne. This keeps me in touch with the whole teen experience and sometimes makes me question God about the unfairness of life (Why God, WHY???). Though I love taking skinventory as much as the next TEENAGE guy...gets a little old at 46.Read more!

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Two Tykes on Trikes Cross Highway on Quest for Quisp and Quake! Parenting and Nutrition
The plan was perfect:

*Snatch spare change from around house (steal from mom's purse if necessary).

*Drive tricycles to grocery store which was far away (2 miles).

*Purchase Quisp and Quake cereal because mom wouldn't buy sugary cereals for us.
I was 3-years-old when I hatched this scheme. Admittedly, I did have an accomplice, my identical twin brother Phil. Read more!

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Good Parents Raise Children to Be Winners (The Baby Expo)
My wife Karen and I ended up at a Baby Expo when my son was still very young. I don't remember how old he was, but I do remember he was an expert crawler--sometimes a stumbling, bumbling, rambling, four-step walker. So whatever age that is--he was. (Though I am SURE it was before MOST children do the stumbling, bumbling thing :)

After paying $6 each to get in, we had $50 to "splurge" with. Read more!

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Good Parents Tell Their Children That if They Believe in Themselves, They Can Accomplish Anything!
Sure right NOW...

...Little Susie Celine Schwartz makes the dog howl when she sings...but one day...she will fill arenas (even church people have said this--non-fibbers!), IF she just believes in herself.

If you just believe in yourself, you can accomplish ANYTHING--it's what they've heard from their good parents all their lives--even at 3! Read more!

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Good Parents Prevent Their Children From Poking Their Eye Out
Like Ralphie's mom...teacher...and even Santa Claus in the movie, A Christmas Story, the #1 thing we've all heard from our parents is:
"Don't __________ (any of 1000 things)--you'll poke (or shoot) your eye out!"
Interesting that the eye shoot-out is #1, while, "I love you!" is like the #8 thing parents say, right AFTER #7, "You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out!" Read more!

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Good Parents Always Allow Their Children to Do What "Everybody" Else Does
"Mom! Why can't I go? EVERYBODY else is going!"
"Dad, you never let me do what EVERYBODY else gets to do!"
"Ohmigosh, EVERYBODY is going to be there...EVERYBODY! So why can't I go?"
"I want ___________ ! EVERYBODY else has one!"

The good parent would never keep their kid from doing what EVERYBODY is doing. One of the biggest fears the good parent has is that their child will not get things everybody has or enjoy all the fun that everybody enjoys. Read more!

Thank you for reading!

See these other Parentconsensus blogs:
A blog of parenting at its worst (cautionary tales): Families in the News
A blog on parenting and families at their best: Families That Inspire
A blog celebrating the joy of Christmas all year round: Christmastime Memories

Celebrities Say Do NOT Vote for Things Good Parents Do for 2008 Weblog Awards????

(DISCLAIMER 1: Okay, this post was a farce, a joke (some would say a joke gone wrong...). It was penned in the heat of "battle" for votes in the 2008 Weblog Awards. (This blog was nominated for Best Parenting Blog...whatever "Best" means :) 

Turns out it was my most read post ever...had over 500 reads in one day! Nevertheless, I lost the contest (7th place). I think everyone bailed after they heard from Oprah--which I SHOULD have anticipated.  Not bad for a 5-month old blog to be nominated though! Please read this in the spirit in which it was penned...just having some fun at my own expense! I KNOW you'll get it. Here you go...

(Oprah Winfrey)

"Away with this man...remove him from my presence...SWINE! This is man is all the time trying to get on my show to talk about his blog, Things Good Parents Do, talking like he's the next Dr. Phil. Mr. Ill more likely! (NOT ill in a good way). He's CRAZY! Buck-wild...CRAZY. And as for that blog?? Child rest! Pleez! That boy needs to find him some SENSE!"

Shhhh...We are bloggers from the other blogs competing with this piddly little upstart blog in the Best Parenting Blog category. (We hacked into Jim's blog just like we did the voting--hee!)

We must say, we have to agree with Oprah on this (and everybody knows you can't put one past Oprah (or two). We can stay silent NO longer!!We've been way better at this way longer than this newbie twerp. We DESERVE this...he doesn't. Thanks to our ireporters, we uncovered the dirt on this BRIGAND so desperately trying to steal OUR precious booty...as in, glory...here you go...

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"I have NEVER seen any "parenting" resource more outrageous, and just downright troubling than this good parents blather pedddled by Jim Kochenburger--the court jester of the parenting world. Parenting is SERIOUS business. I would encourage all good parents to avoid Things Good Parents Do!"

(Dr. James Dobson, President, Focus on the Family)

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"I wouldn't let Jim Kochenburger OR his blog Things Good Parents within mace distance of me...STOP CALLING ME! (Dang that Paris and her stupid stolen phone)"

(Kim Kardashian, reality TV "celebrity")

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"GET REAL! Don't vote for this Kochenburger or his steaming pile of manure that he calls Things Good Parents Do! This man has problems he better be gettin' on dealin' with! "

(Dr. Phil, family expert, media manipulator, expert on all things)

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"Jim Kochenburger has a PARENTING blog? OMG! One more reason not to let my parents know how to "Internet" as they say! "

(Miley Cyrus, teen pop star and actress, daughter of Achey-Breaky song dude. You know that song the Democrats did the Achey-Breaky dance to at that one convention?)

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He did get one "celebrity" endorsement (ha!)...

"VOTE FOR JIM's BLOG, THINGS GOOD PARENTS DO...BECAUSE...MMMmm-mmmm, I LIKE!"

(Perez Hilton, star blogger, celebrity extraordinaire)

You've been warned!!!! Don't vote for him at: Best Parenting Blog--2008 WEBLOG AWARDS!

VOTE FOR US INSTEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Let's keep this our little secret!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Competitors in the "Best Parenting Blog" Category

Disclaimer 2: Yes this is a joke. No, my competitors are not hacking anything. Yes I do want you to vote for me. And yes, all these celebrities, I am sure, would love this blog...who wouldn't? Well, except Perez...

VOTE FOR "THINGS GOOD PARENTS DO" NOW! THANKS (Don't vote--it's over! Thanks for the thought though!) 

See these other Parentconsensus blogs:
A blog of parenting at its worst (cautionary tales): Families in the News
A blog on parenting and families at their best: Families That Inspire
A blog celebrating the joy of Christmas all year round: Christmastime Memories